NIGHTMARESOCCER PREMIERSHIP 2010
For a third season running, our overall best English team tops the 1000 point mark. Ghosts are this season's best - the only team this season to reach four figures with 1027. Alfie's team were 71st overall after Week 1, before jumping to 4th on Week 2. From that point on they never dropped any lower than 7th, spending three weeks top in September/October, before returning to the summit on March 15th and staying there for the last nine weeks. Ghosts achieved their success by concentrating their efforts on their league performances - with no distraction of European competition, they only managed one win each in the Cup competitions, being knocked out in the second round of both the Worthless Cup and Sweet-FA Cup. Top man for Ghosts was Burnley's Tyrone Mears with 154 after they bought him for just £1.7m on first transfer day, by when he had only managed 2 points from 4 games. They finished with four players scoring over a century - including Kamil Zayatte who they sold on final transfer day - and two more in the 90s.

2nd and 3rd overall both came from Headless Chickens Division Two - probably the division of the season, where the team who finished 5th would have won three of the other eight divisions. A long running battle between Reefton Rovers and Ollie&Luke ended with Rovers triumphant, and 2nd best overall. Rovers were also Ollie's nemesis in the Champions' League - defeating them 8-7 in the Semi Finals - though the fact that Reefton went on to win the Champions' League is great news for Ollie, as it means they will qualify for the Champions' League next season rather than the Eur'opeless League.

Top Nightmare this season is Brian Jensen, whose 195 point season sets a new record score - a single point more than last season's total from Scott Carson. 2nd is Robert Green with 169, with Tyrone Mears the top outfield player with 156. Another bumper season for Emile Heskey, with 107 points, keeps him clear at the top of the all-time list on 1181 points. 99 for David James sees him overtake Kevin Davies into 2nd with 1014, while Davies becomes the third player to pass 1000 points, on 1008.

Didier Drogba is the worst Nightmare of the season for the first time in his sixth attempt, with -91. It's only the second time Drogba has ended with negative points, the other coming when he scored -25 in 2006/7. Frank Lampard is establishing himself as a perennial runner-up in this list, as he is 2nd-worst again this time. After six positive Nightmare years Frank scored -17 in 2002/3 and since then he has scored -45 or worse every season, but never yet been the worst in a season. 3rd is Wayne Rooney with -67... his first ever negative Nightmare season. John Terry scored 4 points this season, his first positive total since 2001/2. However he remains our all-time worst player with -381 points. Sami Hyypia was not with us this season - he remains 2nd on -343, while Frank Lampard 'climbs' three places, 'overtaking' Thierry Henry, Steven Gerrard and Rio Ferdinand, to 3rd with -274.

For a full report on every division - check out the NightmareSoccer Premiership league tables

NIGHTMARESOCCER SPL 2010
Events were even tighter up in Scotland, where four teams went into the final week harbouring realistic ambitions of finishing top overall. Having slipped to 3rd on the penultimate week, a 20 point final week saw Greenhead Rogues take the honours by a single point from 2007 Champions The Gifted Ones, with 2008 Champions Glasgow Gluesniffers ending 3rd. So Rogues' final week push means we have a new champion. Lee Mair's own goal 'for' his former team Aberdeen, playing for St Mirren, earned 10 points which made all the difference between becoming Champions or remaining just another also-ran in the Nightmare history books.

In the battle of the abominable forwards, Kyle Lafferty pips Christian Nade to the award of this season's Top Nightmare with 166 points, 2 more than Nade - who was top last season. David Obua is 3rd with 134. Another 81 points keeps James Fowler top of the all-time list, now up to 912 points, with Darren Mackie moving up to 2nd with 906, ahead of Gary Mason - who only played five Nightmare games this season - on 843.

There weren't many players scoring negative totals in Scotland this season, but our clear Worst Nightmare is Andy Webster with -44. The last two seasons the worst player has been a Rangers defender with -27. While he remains a Rangers employee, it's particularly impressive of Webster to notch the worst single-season total since Henrik Larsson hit -75 in 2002/3 while Andy was on loan at Dundee United. It will be interesting see how Webster gets on in the Rangers team next season - assuming they keep him there next time. 2nd worst this season is last season's worst, Madjid Bougherra, with -26. 3rd is Robbie Keane with -11. Looking at the all-time worst players list, it looks like it will be a long time before there's much change at the top. Henrik Larsson stays top with -143, Lorenzo Amoruso 2nd with -110 and Craig Moore 3rd with -73. The 'highest' placed player before the season started that actually appeared in NightmareSoccer SPL this season was Bougherra in =11th. He is now 6th with -53 and, if he's still with Rangers next term, may have ambitions of breaking into the top 3.

For a full report on every division - check out the NightmareSoccer SPL league tables

CHAMPIONS' LEAGUE - ROVERS TRIUMPH
We've reported several times here that holders Mieke Champions League Winners continually fought against the odds with their relatively weak team progressing through this season's competition. The final hurdle proved too much for them, though, as a 6-0 first leg defeat at the hands of Reefton Rovers was followed by a 6-3 second leg scoreline, with Rovers winning 12-3 on aggregate. Unfortunately for Mieke, they finished only 9th in the division of death, Headless Chickens Division Two, and failed to qualify for Europe next season. I for one will miss them!

Congratulations to Richard Irving and Reefton Rovers, our newest Champions of Champions.

Click here for Champions' League tables and fixtures

MAGYARS CROWNED EUR'OPELESS LEAGUE CHAMPIONS
With a 5-1 lead already established from the 1st Leg, Partickhill Magyars' 3-1 win sees them take the Eur'opeless League trophy with an 8-2 aggregate win over Micky's Red Devils. Red Devils' season is rapidly falling apart... beaten finalists in the Sweet-FA Cup last week, they suffer the same fate in this tournament on the same week that they crashed out of the Worthless Cup. It could get even worse for Devils, as they are now just 23 points away from missing out on promotion from Headless Chickens Division Two, and if they do fall to 4th they will also fail to qualify for Europe.

Click here for Eur'opeless League tables and fixtures

WORTHLESS CUP REVIEW
Congratulations to this season's Worthless Cup Winners - Failed the Medical Academical, Ollie&Luke, The Shame of Osprey Heights and our first ever cross-nation Cup winners, Athletico Bonhill Academical. Unfortunately an almight c*ck up in this competition had us entering Cudnt Hit A Cows Bum With A Bagpipe instead of Cudnt Hit A Cows Bum With A Banjo. The way the draw turned out, Bagpipe would have won the competiton - but Banjo went out in the First Round. All results have been re-calculated now and Academical, who thought they had been knocked out by Bagpipe, are the winners.

ARGYLE IN SWEET-FA HEAVEN
St Mawes Argyle are this season's Sweet-FA Cup winners following a 5-1 win over Micky's Red Devils. Argyle's victory was inspired by their three signings on final transfer day, who amassed 18 of their 29 points on Cup Final week. In a relatively poor season for Argyle, they would have failed to qualify for Europe for the first time since 2003, but their success in the Sweet-FA Cup entitles them to a Champions' League place next season.

DRIP TAKE FIRST TROPHY
After a 4-4 draw in the SPL Sweet-FA Cup Final, McLucky Drip were victorious in the replay, with an 8-6 victory over The Ladder. Congratulations to Drip who take this season's first trophy.

WE'RE ON FACEBOOK - COME AND TELL US WHAT YOU THINK
NightmareSoccer is now on Facebook. Click the link below to "become a fan". We'll be using the Discussions section to get your feedback and ideas as the season unravels - feel free to come in and start your own Discussion!