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WEEK 7 - HACKERS STORMING UP THE TABLE
Well if it wasn't for last week's 77 point haul from Keep Calm And Mkhitaryan, the all tine record for a single week total would have beaten this weekend with Hextable Hackers scoring 75 points. Hackers were inspired by Hayden Mullins with 23 points as he was sent off and Newcastle went on to lose 5-0 to Leicester. However Hackers also have Jamie Vardy in their Nightmare 11, he set them back with two of those goals, 3 points for a yellow card softening the blow, Vardy scoring -2 rather than -5.

Hackers have now scored a massive 124 points in two Nightmare weeks, and that has seen them rocket from the relegation zone in Division One right up to 3rd. Contrast that with the team that was 3rd two weeks ago, Swiffer - Hackers have scored exactly four times more points than Swiffer in the last two Nightmare weeks (124 to 31), with Andrew White's off-form boys slipping to 7th.

Hextable manager John-Paul Meredith is certainly not resting on his laurels - he was into the transfer market quick to dump Vardy and Mullins - clearly on the basis he will miss three games through suspension. A wee tweak to the formation and in come Sean Longstaff in a straight swap for Mullins from the Newcastle midfield, and Pierre-Emile Hjojberg.
 
HERE COME THE MUPPETS?
Well Week 6 saw me reporting the shocking news that The Muppets had hit rock bottom in Division One. Not only have they climbed off the foot of the table, they are out of the relegation zone with a 3 place climb to 11th. Muppets are 2nd only to Hackers this week with 52 points, and the really good news for them is that it came from a good all-round performance. Martin Dubravka did pick up an impressive 11 points while Danny Ings scored -2, between them all the other Muppets got points on the board with seven of them scoring between 5 and 7 points. The likes of Teemu Pukki and Ashley Barnes are getting points now for The Muppets following disastrous starts to the Nightmare season when they were banging in goals and racking up minus Nightmare points.
 
FOWLES RECOVERY?
Top of the overall table on Week 1, Fowles performed the remarkable but unenviable achievement of reaching the very bottom within four weeks. From 1st they slipped to 20th, 29th, 32nd and then the very bottom = 40th. That's where they stayed last week, however a 43 point score this weekend is the best in the bottom half and suddenly Simon Fowles' boys are up 5 places to 35th!
 
 
NEWS + UPDATES
Week 29 - Severe shortage of points
Week 28 - Aguero inspires Chivtasticoos
Week 27 - Keep Calm deposed after 24 weeks
Week 26 - single point separates top 2
Week 25 - just the one match
Week 24 - Minutes move between 10
 
TOP NIGHTMARES
PlayerTeamPointsThis
JoelintonNEWCASTLE1455
Tim KrulNORWICH1153
Max AaronsNORWICH1153
Ryan BertrandSOUTHAMPTON1143
Wilfried ZahaCRYSTAL PALACE1126
Jan BednarekSOUTHAMPTON1123
Gerard Deulofeu.REMOVED FROM LIST109
Steve CookBOURNEMOUTH1081
Declan RiceWEST HAM1074
Abdoulaye DoucoureWATFORD1056

View full player list
 
WORST NIGHTMARES
PlayerTeamPointsThis
Marcos AlonsoCHELSEA-7-3
Joe GomezLIVERPOOL-53
Pablo MariARSENAL-3-3
Scott DannCRYSTAL PALACE-3-3
Eric BaillyMAN UNITED-21
Sebastian Prodl.NO LONGER IN PREM.-1